Leadership

Speak For Yourself

Posted on April 5, 2017 by Michael Winkoff

This morning driving into the office, I heard a great interview on the radio.

Mike & Mike were interviewing Ernie Johnson the TNT Icon Sportscaster.

He spoke about a story that happened to him when he was 8 years old playing Little League.

In the story, a ball goes over the fence. All the sudden, 2 outfielders climb the fence in search of this lost ball.

After a couple minutes go by, the boys do not return. The coaches decide to go looking for the two boys searching for their missing ball. When the coaches got over the fence they saw the 8-Year-old boys sitting in the woods eating blackberries.

Ernie spoke about how throughout his whole life he reflects back to that day, to realize how important it is to sometimes just enjoy the taste of blackberries.

Youth sports is a great opportunity for all participants and their parents to enjoy the blackberries!

I like to reflect back on my experiences as a parent when helping other parents navigate the process of assisting their kids in life.

Similar to Ernie Johnson, I always go back to one story in particular.

I came home one day after work and noticed my 10th-grade son was not himself.

I asked him, “What’s bothering you son?” He replied, “I’m frustrated with how the coach is handling my playing time.”

My response, “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and said, “What do you mean, what am I going do about it?”

“Well, speaking to your coach about your feelings would certainly let your coach know where your head is at and even if he doesn’t agree with you, he would certainly respect you for sitting down with him and communicating your thoughts. These are your feelings, your thoughts, therefore, it is your job to communicate with your coach.”

The next night I came home and asked my son, “Did you speak with your Coach?”

“Yes”

“Do you feel better?”

His answer, “Yes. Thanks, Dad.”

I have told numerous parents over the years’ this story, some accept it with open arms and some ignore my words.

Allowing your children to be self-sufficient will empower them. Teach your children to develop their own voice, speak up for themselves, and communicate their feelings in a sincere way. Teach your children to stand up for their beliefs and have that awkward conversation even if it results in an unfavorable response. Your children will be stronger for it. If you ask my son, he’d say the same.

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Be Different.

Posted on April 3, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

Much unrest, disappointment, and angst comes when we constantly compare our own situation to others.

Mikey from my son’s chemistry class is now ranked 5th in his class.

I heard that Joey down the road just committed.

My daughter’s friends team practices 4 times a week.

Their household income is much higher then ours.

Constantly evaluating the similarities between your own situation and that of another can lead us down a shallow path. One that gets caught up in topics or ideas that don’t necessarily relate to the now, create unnecessary rivalries, amplify petiness, or lead us to worry about things out of our control.

Instead of always comparing and thinking we should be like someone or something else, stop for a second and evaluate if your situation may contrast with those around you. Maybe you are simply, different.

Contrasting with someone else’s actions, views, or position in life might just mean you are well on your way to creating a path of your own. Even if you’re in the minority. Just because most people are doing something, doesn’t make it right. Following your own path could very well spark individuality, enthusiasm, or success. Go for it. Contrast. Lead. Be different.

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Fight or Flight

Posted on March 30, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

The score is 14-2 during a early season High School Varsity girls lacrosse game. The winning team (let’s call them the Seagulls) gains possession of the ball and is approaching their offensive end. There is 15 minutes and 35 seconds left in the game. Out of respect for the opposing team (let’s call them the Dolphins), the Seagulls head coach instructs her team to pump the breaks by yelling, “Statue! Statue! Statue!” Statue is code for stall aka keep the ball away from the other team.

For the next 6 minutes, the Seagulls keep the ball away from their opponent. With less than 9 minutes on the clock, the Dolphins are still left without a possession. The Dolphins quickly transition from defending their goal to defending their pride. The clock continues to tick down: 8 minutes, 7 minutes, 6 minutes are now left in the game.

After the Seagulls flawlessly execute dozens of cuts and passes around the outside, the Dolphin’s best player (let’s call her Kelly) leaps in the air and picks off a pass. Kelly drives the length of the field, drawing a defender as she enters the 8-meter, and completes a pass to her wide open teammate. One on one with the goalie, her teammate puts the ball in the back of the net, making the game 14-3.

Now, put yourself in the cleats of the Dolphins. How would you react if you had to spend nearly 10 minutes defending a team in open space? Think about it. You’re down 10 goals to a team. They clearly have no intention of scoring any more. They just want the game to end. They want to exhaust time, shake hands, get on the bus, and go home.

Would you let that happen sooner by trying less, sulking more, and giving up.

or

Would you fight harder, talk more, and play faster?

Casual spectators of the Seagulls vs. the Dolphins see a great team, a blow-out, or an easy win. However, if you look carefully, this game can be an opportunity to see who refuses to quit, who can stay positive when their team is down, or who is playing the hardest with little to no time left on the clock.

When some of the best High School female lacrosse player’s go from playing club to playing for their schools, they soon experience very different teams, situations, and challenges. For Kelly, she is on a team that is still building a competitive and successful culture. She will be placed in situations that challenge her to fly away or fight back. In this situation, it’s obvious the choice she decided to make.

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The Dangers of Competition

Posted on March 15, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

Similar to coaches, musical composers train musicians from early childhood. They encourage musicians to develop good practice habits and performance values. Musicians travel all over the world to learn from the greats and parents pay for young musicians to take part in fine summer programs. Then, musicians are thrown into a whirlpool of competitions, from which we expect these young musicians to perform great works that call upon demonstrate warmth, playfulness, generosity, reverence, and sensitivity.

However, famous educator and composer of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, Benjamin Zander says, “It is dangerous to have our musicians so obsessed with competition, because they will find it difficult to take the necessary risks for themselves to be great performers.”

Like young musicians, young athletes are too performers. Similar to musicians, it is only when athletes make mistakes in performance, do we really get to notice what needs attention.

Now, what if coaches started to look at these negative experience or mistakes as opportunities. Instead of projecting negative energy towards these mistakes, you as a coach reflect humor, generosity, or positivity. Better yet, use these mistakes as possibilities for discovering ways to express oneself in new and creative ways.

Creating an environment where young athletes can make mistakes freely and develop new positive habits is the opposite of dangerous. It’s constructive, positive, impactful, and beneficial. It will give young athletes the confidence to perform at a high level with joy, playfulness, generosity, reverence, and energy. I’d like to see more performances like this, I’d love to see more coaches work with their students like Ben Zander does.

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Magnus

Posted on March 6, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

In the Netflix Documentary, Magnus, Director Benjamin Ree follows the life of a childhood chess prodigy – Magnus Carlsen. This film captures Magnus Carlsen’s road from childhood prodigy to chess world champion.

As Magnus dedicates his life to becoming the greatest Chess player in the world, the support of his family becomes a vital part of Magnus’ success. Specifically, a key contributor to Magnus’ success comes through the love and support displayed by his father. This story is a shining example of how a father should approach a child who is striving to be the best they can be.

Instead of constantly:

Pushing.

Criticizing.

Worrying.

Comparing.

Yelling.

Cheering.

Magnus’ Father decided to constantly:

Believe in.

Support.

Parent.

Encourage.

Accept.

and Love his son.

A great documentary for studletes looking to be great, parents looking for a shining example of how to handle a talented child who wants to be great, or for a sibling learning how to deal with a family member who is striving for greatness.

Tune into Netflix to learn more about the amazing story of Magnus Carlsen, childhood prodigy to chess champion.

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Evaluating What’s Best For Your Athletes

Posted on February 22, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

Every February break, the FLG Directors meet with each boy/girl recruitable athlete in the FLG Select Program. In our meetings, it’s all about the athlete. We use this time to get to know our athletes on a deeper level.

We like to say, “Lacrosse is why you’re sitting here today. That being said, it’s your interests, passions, and academic expectations that gives a better understanding of what you want in your college experience.”

These meetings aren’t all about lacrosse. They are about getting our athletes on the right path. We want our families to channel their efforts in the right direction. No wasted time. No wasted money. No false hopes.

We shoot it straight.

We ask questions.

We listen.

We make suggestions.

We give advice.

We share stories.

We target schools.

We make a plan of action.

We stay in touch.

We never stop.

We let our families know that we are here to help and guide. We aren’t here to take credit for your son or daughter’s commit. There are so many resources out there for families to use. Guidance counsellors in school, an old youth coach, a neighbor, a twitter account. Take advantage of them, don’t let your club be your only resource or the end-all, be-all.

For more information on what we discuss with our athletes, don’t hesitate to reach out! We too want other clubs, high schools, and teams to build more than just athletes.

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The True Meaning of Commitment

Posted on February 20, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

In our program, we don’t promote the committed players from our program until they sign their National Letter of Intent or get into the school they are verbally committed to. As players in High School begin to ‘commit’, it’s important for FLG to educate our players on the true meaning of ‘commitment.’ In the eyes of FLG Lacrosse, one might ask, “What is the true meaning of commitment?”

Developing each year in High School as a student and athlete is commitment.

Staying with the community you were raised and developed in is commitment.

Giving back to your community, club, or the game itself is commitment.

Learning about your future home and supporting your future school is commitment.

Fighting to make your teammates better each and every day is commitment.

Verbally telling a coach, “I want to go to your school” is the beginning of a road towards fining the true meaning of committing. It’s a means to the end. It’s not everything.

Below we’ve listed the 2017 studletes who are signed, sealed, and committed to taking their talents to the next level. These studletes know the true meaning of commitment. They’ve worked tirelessly to get an amazing opportunity to play collegiate lacrosse. Congrats to all the great young men and women in the FLG 2017 class who are moving on to play college lacrosse!

Girls

Karline Bartels – Molloy
Jillian Mayer – Manhattan
Grace Steinthal – Manhattan
Alexa Ritchie – Ithaca
GinMarie Wilson – Hartwick
Gabrielle Picolo – Bloomsburg St.
Giana Kapoosuzian – Bryant
Jess Losquadro – St. Bonaventure
Kristen Decicco – LeMoyne
Maggie Bridges – Sewanee
Megan Keener – Adelphi
Talia Maccarino – Molloy

Boys

Nolan Parisi – George Washington
Jack Gatto – Franklin & Marshall
Brian Schindler – Wagner
Jared Strauss – Williams
Connor Griffin – Suny Geneseo
John Mandola – Adelphi
Justin Malpica – Manhattan
Peter Scavone – Suny Brockport
Ryan McAllister – LIU Post
Tommy Whelan – Wesleyan
Rob Connors – Suny Oswego
Kyle Higgins – M.I.T.
Mark Rafuse – Lycoming
David Loehle – Salisbury
Brody Agres – St. Johns
Joe Miller – Navy
Liam McAuliffe – Fairfield
Chris Gray – Boston University
Kevin Mack – Michigan
Phil Puccio – Bucknell
Christian Kuhn – Air Force

Be sure to follow FLG Lacrosse on instagram @flglax to see action shots, high schools, and positions for all our 2017 committed studletes! #LoveTheGame

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The Mask You Live In

Posted on February 12, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

Teacher Ashanti Branch created an after school program which was started because he noticed a trend of smart middle school boys failing his math class. The boys responded as most do in this particular school in a very rough part of Oakland, “You don’t get any respect walking around with a big heavy backpack, that’s not cool.” In an effort to get these young men to become more successful students, learn to express their emotions, and figure out healthier ways to “be cool,” Mr. Branch performed the following exercise:

Mr. Branch: “I want you to take one of these masks [a piece of paper with the outline of a mask on 1 side, and blank space on the other] and on this mask you’re gonna draw what represents you. On the front of that mask draw what you put up every day when you walk into school that you want other people to see. Then, on the back of that mask, I want you to write what’s inside you that you don’t want others to see. Like, what’s behind the mask? Now, I want you to take your mask and ball it up. Throw that ball across the room at one of your classmates. Pick-up the piece of paper that was thrown at you, and let’s have someone read what’s on that paper.”

As the 10 boys sitting in the circle start reading what’s on the front of their classmates masks there is a common theme:

Funny

Caring

Happy

Smile

Friendly

Fun

Mr. Branch: “Now, I want you guys to start reading what’s written on the back of the mask that’s in your hands.”

Again, a common theme emerged. This time, very different types of emotions.

Sadness

Fear

Anger

Pain

Scared

Mr. Branch: “Why do you think we hold back our pain?”

One of the student responds, “Because you gotta keep your poker face on, you can’t let people know what you got.”

Mr. Branch responds: “How hard is that to walk around every day with that poker face on? This isn’t just an activity on paper, this is about real stuff that we are dealing with as young men that we hide behind because we don’t feel safe. Almost 90% of you have pain and anger on the back of that paper, that’s not a coincidence. That is real. We are only 8 here, there are hundreds out there with same experience but they don’t have any one to talk to. They are holding back, because they don’t have someone asking what’s up with you? How can I support you? I want each of you to be able to say what you need to say. Because if we are ever going to dig down to the deepness of our pain, young men, if are ever going to dig down to the anger that we are holding behind so we don’t just end up like another man in jail because we exploded on the wrong person for the wrong thing. We have got to have a safe place to deal with it. That’s brotherhood.”

You can learn more about how Mr. Ashanti Branch and many others are impacting the lives of young men for the better by watching the documentary The Mask You Live In on Netflix.

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FLG Studlete Award Winners Announced!

Posted on February 1, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

Each year, FLG Lacrosse annually recognizes one outstanding boy and girl student athlete who demonstrates leadership, excels academically, and participates in their community.

The Male & Female Studlete Award Winners, receives a $500 award from FLG Lacrosse. In our third year, we had the most nominations yet! With over 50 male & female studletes nominated, FLG has chosen our 2 winners.

We would like to congratulate the following studletes on winning the 2017 Studlete Award!

Male Studlete Award Winner

Tommy Whelan

2017

Defenseman, Manhasset High School

Female Studlete Award Winner

Cassidy Sollazzo

2017

Attacker, Bay Shore High School

Tommy will be attending Weseleyan University in the Fall, and Cassidy has applied to USC, UCLA, Tulane, Northwestern, & Vanderbilt. Both Studletes are exemplary candidates for the FLG Studlete Award because they showcase excellence in the classroom, in their communities, and on the field.

Tommy told us that he lives by Jay-Z’s words by “hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.” This mantra has made him the Studlete he is today. In the Spring of Tommy’s junior year, a pivotal time to be recruited, he tore his ACL. After missing the entire Spring High School and Summer Club seasons, Tommy was positive and motivated to get back on the field. At the same time, Tommy put his head in the books, maintaining over a 4.0 weighted GPA! Tommy’s persistence in the classroom set him up to get recruited by and accepted to Wesleyan University. Tommy said, “I am grateful for the opportunity to attend one of the top schools in the country.”

Cassidy’s ability to balance her extracurriculars and her school work throughout her High School career is outstanding. Throughout High School, Cassidy was able to be part of two varsity sports since her freshman year, participate in various music organizations, be involved in other clubs and service activities in her community, hold a job, and keep at 99.8 average. Cassidy says “many of these activities allow me to work with peers. I have been a captain of the field hockey team for 2 years, I am the news editor of the school newspaper, and I am first chair flute. These leadership roles have increased my ability to bring a group of people together to work towards a common goal.” Whether it’s holding people accountable for a deadline for the school paper or bringing a positive attitude to practice after a big loss, Cassidy’s leadership qualities are apparent.

As we mentioned earlier, over 50 young men and women were nominated for this year’s Studlete Award. The choice to select this year’s winners was not easy. With that said, FLG Lacrosse would like to recognize our 2nd and 3rd place candidates for this year’s award.

Male Studlete Award 2nd & 3rd Place Candidates

2nd Place – Kyle Higgins, 2017, Shoreham Wading River, New York

3rd Place – Malik Gay, 2018, Roswell, Georgia

Female Studlete Award 2nd & 3rd Place Candidates

2nd Place – Charlotte Spencer, 2017, Celebration, Florida

3rd Place – Erica Santamaria, 2018, Corning, New York

In order to be considered for this prestigious award the applicants must:
• Demonstrate leadership and service to others
• Be a Junior or Senior in High School
• Maintain at least a 3.0 GPA at the time of application
• Have been a member for at least one High School Varsity Sport
• Have participation in Extra Curricular activities: (ie) Involved in music, theatre, writing, work outside of school, charities, other projects and running clinics
• Demonstrate the ability to get along with others, modesty and sportsmanship
• Have community service involvement

See past winners of FLG’s Studlete Award by visiting our Studlete Award Webpage here!

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Looking in the Mirror

Posted on January 26, 2017 by Corey Winkoff

You drop a pass.

You flunk a test.

You don’t feed the cat.

It might be because you just got your pocket re-strung, or because your brother kept you up all night before the test, or because it’s not usually your responsibility.

It might be because your skills aren’t good enough, you didn’t study hard enough, or because you don’t care enough.

Why did you come up short?

Was it because of something (or someone) else? or Was it because of you?

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